The heart of life

I'm trying to get used to the idea of being home... with everything i've seen and experienced these past few weeks, it's hard to come back here to the life that i left. there was so much i took for granted.. family.. school.. church.. and i just look at how i used to take advantage of those things and it makes me frustrated with myself.

flying home didn't seem like it took as long as it did getting there. i slept about 10 out of the 16 hour flight so that could have been it. the last night in ambo was easily the hardest. i think it was my breaking point, where i was so broken from all of the things i had seen in ethiopia, that it was just enough. i had been praying that the Lord break my heart for what breaks his and that night finally did it.

we were eating with our 4 streetboy friends that we had spent time with the past few days when me and beth asked danny (one of the street boys) what he wanted to be when he became an adult. he told us that he would never amount to anything, and he asked how he could ever amount to something? we were really surprised and saddened by his answer. then he told us he believed the world had forgotten them, all of the streetboys. i immediately wanted to say, no of course not! but then i thought about it.. the boys don't have families anymore and the government won't help them out in anyway. they live on the streets, some starting from the age 8 until adulthood and sometimes even further than that. the government doesn't offer them any type of scholarships for schooling. this breaks my heart so much to say, but to the WORLD, they have somewhat been forgotten.

danny said no one loves them... no one takes care of them. thats when we said no, we love them. GOD loves them. and we think that he is so special and we truly believe he will amount to something someday. and he simply would not believe us. another streetboy said how, how could we ever do anything?? we don't go to school we dont have anymoney. we told them if you pray to God and if you hand your life over to God he will do great things. thats when they told us no one had ever told them how to pray... and they've never owned a bible. we told them how they can pray to God in any place whenever they want. i just hope that what we said stuck with them..

it made me ask myself, why do i have a family? why am i blessed with a home? they are God's children just like I am... saying goodbye to them was the worst. because i don't know if i'll ever see them again. i don't know what will happen to them. i don't know if they will ever get off the streets... and i don't know if they will be taken care of. i know the Lord is telling me to trust in him, but it is so hard to when i'm so far away.

it's easy to say goodbye to something when your heart isn't fully there or when you know you will get the chance to visit again. but with these four boys, my heart was all there. i was there for them and i put every ounce of love and energy into this mission for them. and i don't know when or if i'll ever see them again.

i wish that me telling them how much we love and care about them would be enough. i wish i had enough money to put them in homes and schooling and get them jobs. but my attention and care isn't enough. i will never be enough to save these boys from this dire situation... i have to find rest in the Lord. i have to trust in him. and I have to believe that He is enough. I have to know that he will provide for these boys.

i just wanted to tell you all about the streetboys in ambo. i wasn't expecting these boys to pull the heartstrings that they did, but they pulled every single one of them. i am passionate about showing these boys that they HAVE NOT been forgotten. i don't care what their society or situation says about them. i want them to know they are LOVED by the Lord and by others.

the last thing that one of the boys said to us that night was "we don't care about things. we don't care about the stuff people have. we care about people. and we care about being loved."

THAT is where the heart of life lies.