Project Go

It's that time of year again! This time last year my heart was sold to interning with Project Go and I was filling out an application for the summer. It makes me smile just thinking about how I had no idea how much I was about to experience. And I feel blessed with the opportunity to share my experiences with you. To share my friends stories. To share my heart and how the Lord worked in it in a way I've never experienced. So in hopes of doing, without going on for pages and pages, here are a few things (of thousands) you will experience if you intern with Project Go:

1. There will be laughter. Sometimes so much laughter that your stomach hurts, aka belly laughin. One of my sweet friends, Zippi, laughed with her whole soul. Her whole body would shake and she would burst out a laughter that could be heard for miles. Her smile brought life to everyone around her. There will be so much laughter. 

2. There will be people surrounding you that will show you what working hard and doing it well looks like. The staff do all they can to teach their kids. And the children view school as a gift, not an obligation. You will see so many people working hard

3. There will be lots of dancing. Because when you have so much peace and joy in this life, God makes you dance. There will be dancing of the heart and in your spirit as He does work in your life. There is nothing sweeter than dancing with these babies.

4. There will be joy. Joy goes further than happiness, it takes over your whole heart and body. That joy will overflow from you and pour out onto others. I've never experienced joy like this. This kind of joy, that fills your heart so full is from seeing this joy in the hearts and lives of those around you. There will be so much joy.

5. There will be giving. Of your heart, your attention, your time, your strength. You will be exhausted at the end of the day because you don't know how you gave all that you had. God wakes you up the next morning with the desire to give again, because He has faithfully refilled you. You will give all that you can for your babies and for the people around you. Selflessly and intentionally.

6. There will be new lessons for you to learn. How to love your neighbor well, how to love your God more faithfully, how to give your life fully for Him. You will be humbled. And you will be taught by your kids and will see Jesus in them. 

7. There will be prayer. You will fall on your face before the Lord because you are weak, inadequate, and you can't do anything without Him. You will cling to prayer and what a sweet time talking with the Father.

8. There will be sweet little hands, little hearts, little babies. You will get to hold and hug and love these little hands. 

9. There will be babies who have never heard how loved they are before. You will get to tell these babies how loved they are by God, by their families, and by you. Loving these babies with my whole heart has been one of the sweetest things God has blessed me with. God calls them each by name, and seeing their face light up when you call them by name will bring you so much joy.

10. There will be poverty that breaks your heart. There will be kids who don't have shoes, there will be kids who don't have parents. By our worldly standards, they are poor. But they are so rich in love. Rich in their love for God and for others. Money doesn't fix us or make our lives whole, Jesus does. 

11. There will be beautiful animals. Of all kinds. And lots and lots of adventuring! There will be times when you question how cool the zoo's back home are... because they have nothing on the giraffes and elephants orphanage.

12. There will be tears. The good kind and the sad kind. There will be tough goodbyes. You will have to swallow back your tears and your fear of the unknown. And trust that though you are leaving this sweet place, God is not. It won't be easy to leave, but you will leave with a deep sense of thankfulness and peace in the Lord. You will wonder what your babies are doing right now, or if they are doing well. You will have dreams of returning back. But God is the great protector, and He is faithful. And that's what I rest in. There will be tears.

13. There will be growth. God puts a calling on your heart to serve and He will be faithful in that. He will provide. There will be challenges. But with those challenges, there will be growth. You will grow into the person God has created you to be. How sweet that is. 

14. There will be community. How thankful I am for Liz and Hannah and the community we had in Kenya. There will be friendship and a bond formed on the foundation of God. This community will bring you joy, encourage you, and leave you with lots to be thankful for.

15. There will be beauty. In everything that surrounds you. In what God has created. God is in these countries. You may be traveling to serve God and teach others about Him, but make no mistake, He is already there. He is dwelling in the lives, He is seen in the sunsets and in the smiles. He is there. And I am so thankful for that.

If you'd like to serve for this next summer, check out:

It's your mission

Dear Mary

(taking after my favorite blog todays letters)

Dear Mary,

I miss you so so much today. You don't know Jesus yet and you come from a muslim home but I know that He dwells in your spirit, your words, your smile. I pray that you will accept Him into your heart. I pray you remember how precious and loved you are. I know that both of your parents have passed away and you have been separated from your siblings, but I pray you know that you are eternally adopted. He can't wait to share your inheritance of His Kingdom with you. You are a daughter of God. You are loved. I wish I could give you a big hug right now! And paint your nails and remind you how loved you are. I can't wait to see you again soon.   

Dear anyone and everyone who reads this,

pray with me today for Mary. That she will know the Father's love for her. That she will know Jesus as her savior. That regardless of the hardships she faces here on earth, she is loved and adored by the God that created her. That she will be eternally adopted into His Kingdom. That someone at the BCC right now is giving her a hug and reminding her that she is God's beloved. Pray that she seeks God as her refuge and strength. 

the sweetest

smiles

laughter

hearts

joy

intentions

hope

desire

faith

generosity

humility

outlook

peace

trust

Just a few (of many) things found in the hearts of my sweet kenyan friends. In the sweetest, most God centered way. Being around my friends there was such an encouragement. I went to a slum in Kenya to share Christ's love and left with a greater understanding of what that love really is. I saw Jesus in our conversations and in our relationships, but I think I saw Him most in all of the smiles that I encountered there. 

So much joy and freedom that could only come from the Father. Being around all of these smiles and in a place where I felt God's presence filled me with an abounding amount of joy. Which makes the transition to coming back home a hard one.

Looking through my pictures from Kenya at home I'm hit with how much I miss these smiles, those places, and feeling God's presence everywhere I went.

So what now? Where do I begin with my senior year in college?

"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, and therefore supremely blessed are they who thirst after the Righteous One. Blessed is that hunger, since it comes from God: if I may not have the full-blown blessedness of being filled, I would seek the same blessedness in its sweet bud-pining in emptiness and eagerness until I am filled with Christ. This blessing involves a promise. Such hungry ones "shall be filled" with what they are desiring. If Christ thus causes us to long after Himself, He will certainly satisfy those longings; and when He does come to us, as come He will, how sweet it will be"

An overwhelming joy, much needed peace, and sustaining faith in the Jesus.

To find the Father here at school.

To believe in His promise.

To know that my desire to be filled comes from Him. He will be faithful.

Until the day we meet again

During our many road trips (over 40 hours in the past month!) we've listened to numerous cds and have had our lives saved by ipod adapters to keep us singing along our drive. Knox played a song on one of our trips that left me in tears. Literally, it made me cry. It expressed so sweetly how I've felt since I've had to say goodbye to my sweet Kenyan friends. I pray for the wind upon their back, sunshine warm on their precious faces, rain that falls softly, that they find shelter in the storm, that their days on earth be richly filled with love, lots of rest, and most importantly that my sweet friends will be in heaven.

I can't listen to this song without crying! Good tears. Sweet tears. Heart aching tears.

May the wind be always at your back

And the sun shine warm upon your face
May the rains fall soft upon your field
Until the day we meet again

And the roof that hangs over your head
Find you shelter from the storm

Before the devil knows you're dead
May you be in heaven, my friend

May good luck find you at your worst
And bad love lose you at your best
May your days be rich and full of wealth
And your nights be long when you need rest

And the roof that hangs over your head
Find you shelter from the storm

Before the devil knows you're dead
May you be in heaven, my friend

And the road, may it rise to meet your feet
And be downhill all the way to your door
May the grass below be green and the sky above be blue
May it be so forever more

And the roof that hangs over your head
Find you shelter from the storm

Before the devil knows you're dead
May you be in heaven, my friend

sunkissed with a GPS

Since being home from Kenya, Knox and I haven't stopped traveling and visiting friends. We stayed in Auburn with my family for the week after I got back. It was so good getting to relax, sleep, get over all my jetlag, and visit with my family. We have gotten to do lots of American-ish things since I've been home and I've been loving it!!

We celebrated the 4th of July. Not sure how you can get more American than that!! We made banana pancakes with blueberries, raspberries, and blackberries. RED WHITE AND BLUE. It was a great day.

Going on an american-y-ish date. 

We said goodbye to my fam and drove up to Branson, Missouri. We were both missing kamp a whole lot since it was our first time not being there the past two summers. And what a joy it was to see all of our kamp friends! Lots of people were visiting at the same time as us, so we got to have a little reunion. It was basically the greatest three days of catching up and getting to hang in kamp.

We got to spend time with some of our kamp besties. Kathryn is one of my sweet friends from kamp and I am so thankful for her! She brings lots of light and laughter into a room and it was a joy getting to hang out with her and brad. The last time we saw them was in SPAIN. Crazy. Love them. Love kath.

Of course we went to Andy's right off of the Branson strip. It's kind of tradition because the only time we really talked the first summer we met was at the Andy's. That's another story.

From Branson, we drove down to San Antonio! We have been getting to spend lots of time with Knox's family and it's been great! His youngest sister, Elizabeth loves waking Knox up with laughter and tickling. She has just about the cutest smile ever. 

Shaved fruit. I'm still not convinced that it's "healthy" because it's just so good. But I'm going to tell myself that it is because IT'S THAT GOOD! So we've been there two or three times since we got here a week ago. Obsessed.

We went to the lake with one of Knox's best friends Zach. And thats how we got to the CUTEST PLACE on the planet, Gruene, TX. The only way I can describe it is Gilmore Girls Stars Hollow in Texas, with lots of cute old people and antique stores. Basically, I loved it.

We got to go sailing on Zach's sailboat. SO cool. SO legit. It rocked.

Next stop was in Austin. It was all around a great trip. We got some peach tea that was made in Fredericksburg aka Knox's new home next year.

I got to see one of my middle school/childhood besties Kallie! I was reminded of how funny and full of joy Kallie is! Loved getting to visit with her, loved Austin, can't wait to hang with this girl when I move in the spring!

So kind of big news: I GOT AN INTERNSHIP IN AUSTIN! I'll be there next spring! It hasn't really hit me yet, but I am so excited!! The Lord is so faithful in the way He opens doors and finds connections in the most random places. If you would have told me this time last year that I would be interning in Austin I wouldn't have believed you. And now it's happening! 

So needless to say, I am so excited to see what God has in store for me in Austin. I have seen God at work through how I found my internship and how He has been allowing these doors to be opened. I'll be an intern at Mission:Possible Austin. Check it out, they are so legit. And I cannot wait!!

These next few days will be full of traveling, meeting with grad schools (EEEEK), and a roadtrip to Colorado with the Schroller family! The transition from Kenya life to normal life has been interesting, but I have been blessed to have had this transition been filled with family, friends, laughter, sun (sunburn), opening doors, exciting chapters ahead, and living for the day. God is so good.

Prayer

These last few weeks have been so busy! Knox and I have gone on long road trips (thats a whole other blog post) and we have been able to visit and see sweet friends. As I'm going to all these places and talking about my experience in Kenya, my heart still hurts! I miss Nairobi, the precious smiles, the constant reminder of God's presence around us, the inability to live "comfortably". So as I was missing Kenya, I read through my journal I kept while I was there and found a date where I was particularly overwhelmed and broken. Looking back and reading my prayers to God, I am able to see His faithfulness and provisions He has for each of us. Each of the cries I lifted up to the Lord was answered, and I am able to see exactly why God brought me to Nairobi. He is so good.

June 17

Quoting my devotional: "After conversion our God is our joy, comfort, guide, teacher, and in every sense our light: He is the light within, light around, light reflected from us, and light to be revealed to us. It is said that the Lord doesn't merely give light, He IS light, nor that He gives salvation, He IS salvation." 

I pray Lord that you work through me to guide lost souls to you. I don't know what that looks like. I feel so inadequate at times. I can't love enough children. I can't adopt all of the orphans. But through you, Lord, I am able to guide your babies back to you, where they find the everlasting joy and love that only YOU can provide. Only you Father. You are so good. Take control of my words. When I go home to family and friends, speak through me so that I am able to explain my experience here. Help me find words to change peoples hearts, to awaken them to you.

I've seen so much here, Lord. So much injustice, poverty, brokenness, things that have completely broken my heart. But even more than that, I've seen freedom, peace, and love. An overwhelming about of joy. I've seen so much of your light shining here in the hearts of the children at the orphanage, the hearts of the cooks that work long days, the hearts of the teachers who are filled with so much patience, the hearts of the street children that smile and wave at our car as we pass by, the hearts of the staff here at Buckner who help make our mission possible. You don't just give light to all of these people, but you are their light. I can't fix lives here or the poverty or the sin or the brokenness of man. I can't fix that there are bombings here or people dying everyday from HIV/AIDS. I can't give every child that is hungry a full belly. I can't give them light or salvation. But you can. You not only give them that but you ARE their light and salvation. You provide them salvation that they are able to look up to you and know you are storing their treasures in heaven. And I will rest in that truth. That even though I am overwhelmed at the injustice I see, you will be faithful and use each persons lives to bring your kingdom glory. You will provide salvation and the love that none of us deserve for the good of YOUR will. 

I pray that I am better able to serve and love your children. One of the sewing girls yesterday told me she used to be a street girl and during that time was addicted to cocaine. She now lives with an aunt and is able to attend this program. She says that a lot of the children that are still on the streets tell her she doesn't deserve the program or the chance at a better life. That she isn't good enough, that she will always be "bad". Lord, that breaks my heart. That she was once orphaned, that she had to live alone on the streets for far too long, that she feels inferior to her classmates, that other children have stripped away her self-confidence and worth. When I go back tomorrow, I pray you provide me with the right words to say to her. That I am able to share with her how much she is loved by YOU. I pray that she will know how much she is worth, that she was bought at a high price. How loved she is by you, God. How loved all of your children are. A kind of love that I have a hard time wrapping my mind around. A love that I can't comprehend. A love that I don't deserve at all, but you provide it anyway.

Give be strength, Lord. I am so weak and inadequate without you. Help me share the good news of your light and salvation this week.

all over the map

Hi sweet family and friends. I've safely returned home after 35 long hours of traveling. My heart hurts and my head is spinning (did this past June fly by that fast?) and I am in the middle of processing all that God has done in my life recently. I'll be updating this soon after I've been able to process everything and will put up pictures soon! Thank you so much for praying over our trip, I'm so thankful for all of you and our amazing trip wouldn't have been possible without each of you!

I'll be updating soon I promise! Knox and I just got to the HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH aka K-Kountry! So much joy!