39 days!

A big thanks to Jared Tseng for blessing us with the God given talent he has to take beautiful pictures! We had to much fun taking them and Knox and I love them so much. We will be looking at these for a long time!

Check Jared Tseng Photography out!

the unknown

I started this blog after my freshman year of college in hopes to put into words my trip to Ethiopia. I didn't know it would turn into months of processing the time I had there and the heartbreak that I felt, as well as all of the clashing emotions of the relief I felt returning home and heartache of leaving. I had no idea that I would keep up with this blog through my sophomore year, where I used it to post different things I coveted and clothes I would love to have. Imagine my surprise when I kept this blog during my junior year to write down sweet moments with the Lord and with my friends in college. Beginning of my junior year, God called me back to Africa. He called me to Kenya for a month. I didn't know what to expect. So I answered that calling, raised money, packed up my things and went. I had no idea what I would be doing during my time there. But He did. 

He called me to learn and grow. To love more. To sacrifice more. To cry more. To have my heart broken more for what breaks His. To use the gifts He has blessed me with more. To glorify His name in all that I can do and in anyway that I possibly could, more. To give more. To laugh more. To trust Him more. To hand over things to Him I hadn't given up yet. And to have greater faith.

And then I came back from Kenya with my heart swelling more than I've ever felt and my mind running a mile a minute. I couldn't imagine what He had in store for my life, but I knew that He had lit something in my heart. Something that I know for certain can never be distinguished. So I used this place to type out my thoughts and process and grow.

So senior year (fall) happened, and I still managed to keep up with the blog. To write about the hearts I missed in Kenya and mine that I left there. And more ramblings about how I don't know the next step in my life and that I'm a senior so I'm supposed have figured this out already sophomore year.  I didn't know that senior year would be full of precious time with friends, taking in the last semester of Auburn, a chapter in my life that was just the greatest in a town that I grew up in. I had no idea that I would be engaged to my best friend and the man that I love and will soon call my husband. But how sweet it was to be able to share such a special time for us two on this space. 

So here I am, finishing my senior year of college, writing in this same blog that I started when I had no idea the journey I was about to embark on. Did I mention I'm going to marry the greatest guy ever? And that we no longer have to do 14 hour long distance?! Now I'm in Austin, 14 hours away from home, taking part in at a great nonprofit with some great new roommates. My prayer is to take each day and soak in as much love and beauty and life that God has granted me to see and enjoy. To laugh a lot, to worry less, and to love more. 

So here goes to another semester, full of unknowns and adventures. I have a peace and a joy for what God has granted me and I have a trust that He will continue to be faithful to my journey this semester. God has been so good and I know He will continue to reveal Himself to me this semester as I intern and prepare for marriage. So as He continues to reveal Himself, I will continue to write. As long as I can continue to find the words and have sweet friends faithfully praying over my adventure.

Sending love out to everyone today!

psalm 34:3

"Glorify the Lord with me; let us exalt His name together" 

I will be joyful ALWAYS because

God is good

He calls me His beloved

He fills my soul to the brim

He is faithful

I will spend forever with my Father

He has allowed Knox and I to glorify His name together

Because in Knox I have found the one my soul loves
I'm going to marry my best friend

And God promises us ETERNITY in heaven

forever

I love that word.

Project Go

It's that time of year again! This time last year my heart was sold to interning with Project Go and I was filling out an application for the summer. It makes me smile just thinking about how I had no idea how much I was about to experience. And I feel blessed with the opportunity to share my experiences with you. To share my friends stories. To share my heart and how the Lord worked in it in a way I've never experienced. So in hopes of doing, without going on for pages and pages, here are a few things (of thousands) you will experience if you intern with Project Go:

1. There will be laughter. Sometimes so much laughter that your stomach hurts, aka belly laughin. One of my sweet friends, Zippi, laughed with her whole soul. Her whole body would shake and she would burst out a laughter that could be heard for miles. Her smile brought life to everyone around her. There will be so much laughter. 

2. There will be people surrounding you that will show you what working hard and doing it well looks like. The staff do all they can to teach their kids. And the children view school as a gift, not an obligation. You will see so many people working hard

3. There will be lots of dancing. Because when you have so much peace and joy in this life, God makes you dance. There will be dancing of the heart and in your spirit as He does work in your life. There is nothing sweeter than dancing with these babies.

4. There will be joy. Joy goes further than happiness, it takes over your whole heart and body. That joy will overflow from you and pour out onto others. I've never experienced joy like this. This kind of joy, that fills your heart so full is from seeing this joy in the hearts and lives of those around you. There will be so much joy.

5. There will be giving. Of your heart, your attention, your time, your strength. You will be exhausted at the end of the day because you don't know how you gave all that you had. God wakes you up the next morning with the desire to give again, because He has faithfully refilled you. You will give all that you can for your babies and for the people around you. Selflessly and intentionally.

6. There will be new lessons for you to learn. How to love your neighbor well, how to love your God more faithfully, how to give your life fully for Him. You will be humbled. And you will be taught by your kids and will see Jesus in them. 

7. There will be prayer. You will fall on your face before the Lord because you are weak, inadequate, and you can't do anything without Him. You will cling to prayer and what a sweet time talking with the Father.

8. There will be sweet little hands, little hearts, little babies. You will get to hold and hug and love these little hands. 

9. There will be babies who have never heard how loved they are before. You will get to tell these babies how loved they are by God, by their families, and by you. Loving these babies with my whole heart has been one of the sweetest things God has blessed me with. God calls them each by name, and seeing their face light up when you call them by name will bring you so much joy.

10. There will be poverty that breaks your heart. There will be kids who don't have shoes, there will be kids who don't have parents. By our worldly standards, they are poor. But they are so rich in love. Rich in their love for God and for others. Money doesn't fix us or make our lives whole, Jesus does. 

11. There will be beautiful animals. Of all kinds. And lots and lots of adventuring! There will be times when you question how cool the zoo's back home are... because they have nothing on the giraffes and elephants orphanage.

12. There will be tears. The good kind and the sad kind. There will be tough goodbyes. You will have to swallow back your tears and your fear of the unknown. And trust that though you are leaving this sweet place, God is not. It won't be easy to leave, but you will leave with a deep sense of thankfulness and peace in the Lord. You will wonder what your babies are doing right now, or if they are doing well. You will have dreams of returning back. But God is the great protector, and He is faithful. And that's what I rest in. There will be tears.

13. There will be growth. God puts a calling on your heart to serve and He will be faithful in that. He will provide. There will be challenges. But with those challenges, there will be growth. You will grow into the person God has created you to be. How sweet that is. 

14. There will be community. How thankful I am for Liz and Hannah and the community we had in Kenya. There will be friendship and a bond formed on the foundation of God. This community will bring you joy, encourage you, and leave you with lots to be thankful for.

15. There will be beauty. In everything that surrounds you. In what God has created. God is in these countries. You may be traveling to serve God and teach others about Him, but make no mistake, He is already there. He is dwelling in the lives, He is seen in the sunsets and in the smiles. He is there. And I am so thankful for that.

If you'd like to serve for this next summer, check out:

It's your mission

Dear Mary

(taking after my favorite blog todays letters)

Dear Mary,

I miss you so so much today. You don't know Jesus yet and you come from a muslim home but I know that He dwells in your spirit, your words, your smile. I pray that you will accept Him into your heart. I pray you remember how precious and loved you are. I know that both of your parents have passed away and you have been separated from your siblings, but I pray you know that you are eternally adopted. He can't wait to share your inheritance of His Kingdom with you. You are a daughter of God. You are loved. I wish I could give you a big hug right now! And paint your nails and remind you how loved you are. I can't wait to see you again soon.   

Dear anyone and everyone who reads this,

pray with me today for Mary. That she will know the Father's love for her. That she will know Jesus as her savior. That regardless of the hardships she faces here on earth, she is loved and adored by the God that created her. That she will be eternally adopted into His Kingdom. That someone at the BCC right now is giving her a hug and reminding her that she is God's beloved. Pray that she seeks God as her refuge and strength. 

the sweetest

smiles

laughter

hearts

joy

intentions

hope

desire

faith

generosity

humility

outlook

peace

trust

Just a few (of many) things found in the hearts of my sweet kenyan friends. In the sweetest, most God centered way. Being around my friends there was such an encouragement. I went to a slum in Kenya to share Christ's love and left with a greater understanding of what that love really is. I saw Jesus in our conversations and in our relationships, but I think I saw Him most in all of the smiles that I encountered there. 

So much joy and freedom that could only come from the Father. Being around all of these smiles and in a place where I felt God's presence filled me with an abounding amount of joy. Which makes the transition to coming back home a hard one.

Looking through my pictures from Kenya at home I'm hit with how much I miss these smiles, those places, and feeling God's presence everywhere I went.

So what now? Where do I begin with my senior year in college?

"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, and therefore supremely blessed are they who thirst after the Righteous One. Blessed is that hunger, since it comes from God: if I may not have the full-blown blessedness of being filled, I would seek the same blessedness in its sweet bud-pining in emptiness and eagerness until I am filled with Christ. This blessing involves a promise. Such hungry ones "shall be filled" with what they are desiring. If Christ thus causes us to long after Himself, He will certainly satisfy those longings; and when He does come to us, as come He will, how sweet it will be"

An overwhelming joy, much needed peace, and sustaining faith in the Jesus.

To find the Father here at school.

To believe in His promise.

To know that my desire to be filled comes from Him. He will be faithful.

Until the day we meet again

During our many road trips (over 40 hours in the past month!) we've listened to numerous cds and have had our lives saved by ipod adapters to keep us singing along our drive. Knox played a song on one of our trips that left me in tears. Literally, it made me cry. It expressed so sweetly how I've felt since I've had to say goodbye to my sweet Kenyan friends. I pray for the wind upon their back, sunshine warm on their precious faces, rain that falls softly, that they find shelter in the storm, that their days on earth be richly filled with love, lots of rest, and most importantly that my sweet friends will be in heaven.

I can't listen to this song without crying! Good tears. Sweet tears. Heart aching tears.

May the wind be always at your back

And the sun shine warm upon your face
May the rains fall soft upon your field
Until the day we meet again

And the roof that hangs over your head
Find you shelter from the storm

Before the devil knows you're dead
May you be in heaven, my friend

May good luck find you at your worst
And bad love lose you at your best
May your days be rich and full of wealth
And your nights be long when you need rest

And the roof that hangs over your head
Find you shelter from the storm

Before the devil knows you're dead
May you be in heaven, my friend

And the road, may it rise to meet your feet
And be downhill all the way to your door
May the grass below be green and the sky above be blue
May it be so forever more

And the roof that hangs over your head
Find you shelter from the storm

Before the devil knows you're dead
May you be in heaven, my friend